


Lächerlich

by ShowMeAHero



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Babysitting Loki, Crack mostly, Gen, for Lauryn, general nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2017-12-28 04:50:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/987864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShowMeAHero/pseuds/ShowMeAHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane and Darcy bring in two Midgardians to babysit Loki so Thor can get a day off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lächerlich

**Author's Note:**

> For Lauryn.

“Lady Jane, Lady Darcy,” Thor began slowly, looking over the women before him. “You told me you would bring along Midgardians who were perfect to explore our world.”

“We did!” Darcy exclaimed, motioning to the women beside her. “Look, they’re perfect specimens. Plus, I thought they were just babysitting your crazy baby brother.”

“I am not an infant,” Loki snapped. Darcy scowled at him.

“You certainly do a great impression of one,” Darcy shot back. Jane put a hand on Darcy’s shoulder and turned to Thor.

“They applied, they interviewed, they’ve been trained and informed. They’ve studied and worked for this,” Jane told Thor in a low voice. Thor looked the two girls over; they both beamed at him. One of them shoved her glasses back up her nose. Thor raised an eyebrow.

“They will do.” Loki stepped forward, clasping his hands behind his back and standing before the two girls. “Introduce yourselves.”

“Uhm, well, I’m Nicole,” the one with pinned-back brown hair offered. “I’m eighteen, and I-”

“That is enough, thank you,” Loki interrupted. He turned his attention to the other girl. “And you?”

“I’m Lauryn,” the one with auburn and blonde dip-dyed hair added. “I’m eighteen, as well.”

“Excellent,” Loki said dryly. “They sent two children.”

“Hey!” Lauryn protested as Nicole stepped forward, staring up into Loki’s face.

“We’re not children. We’re here to babysit a _child_ ,” Nicole said. Loki’s expression quickly became stormy.”

“Know your place, _girl_ , or I will-”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Darcy laughed nervously, stepping between them and shoving them both back a step. Loki’s fingertips were shifting into deep blue. Thor rested a hand on his brother’s shoulder, but Loki shrugged him off.

“Lady Lauryn, Lady Nicole, you may bring my brother anywhere you wish,” Thor informed the two women, ignoring his brother for the most part. He extended two dense metal bracelets. “Raise your wrists.” Lauryn and Nicole did as instructed, and Thor snapped a bracelet onto each girl’s wrist. “These will take you where you wish to go, and my brother cannot manipulate them. Also,” and here Thor held out a small metallic box, “inside this box are chains and a mask. Should my brother act in any way you do not deem trustworthy or honestly good, you touch here,” and Thor tapped the side of the box, “and he will be chained. You are safe.”

“Thanks,” both girls said. Nicole took the box from his palm and shoved it into her pocket. “When do you want him back by?”

“I will call you back,” Thor assured them. “I wish you all well.” Thor turned to Loki. “Brother, you enjoy your time with Ladies Lauryn and Nicole and you do not smite anyone. Is this clear?”

“Crystal,” Loki sneered. Thor clapped him on the shoulder. In the next moment, he, Jane, and Darcy vanished, a boom of lightning signalling their departure. Loki grimaced at his brother’s theatrics and turned to the girls. “What is your _plan_ , then?”

Lauryn and Nicole grinned.

* * *

“This, my prickly friend, is called an _amusement park_ ,” Nicole said slowly, enunciating each word. Lauryn tested her height against one of the stands off to the side. “You go on rides. It’s fun.”

Loki looked around with distaste. “In what way, precisely?”

“Well, first you’ve got to change your clothes,” Lauryn pointed out. “You look silly. And it’s obvious you’re not from around here.”

Loki frowned down at his armor. “What problem do you have with-”

“You look terrifying,” Nicole added. “And hot, but that’s beside the point.”

“I am not-”

“Figure of speech,” Lauryn clarified before Loki could even begin to protest. “Change. Now, Odinson.”

“Laufeyson,” Loki corrected, even as his clothes wavered and shifted into something that resembled the clothing styles of the people around them.

“Better,” Nicole allowed. “Come on, there’s a ride called the Mind Eraser that will just _destroy_ you.”

* * *

“And _this_ ,” Lauryn said, spreading his arms, “is a park.”

“What goes on here?” Loki asked, eyeing a tree curiously.

“People, I don’t know, play games, hang around, enjoy the outdoors,” Nicole explained, collapsing on the grassy ground. Lauryn threw herself on top of Nicole. They both watched as Loki approached the tree he had been eyeing and prodded it. Lauryn fell over in laughter.

* * *

“This is usually called a _brothel_ -”

“Nicole. No.”

* * *

“And _this_ ,” Lauryn exclaimed, “is a movie theatre! You watch films here. Do you have films? In Asgard, I mean?”

“We do not,” Loki informed her. “I do, however, know what films are. What film shall we be viewing?”

“It’s an old classic called _Toy Story_ ,” Nicole said, buying three tickets. “It’s great, I promise. I loved it when I was young. Still do, really. They’re doing reshowings tonight.”

“Oh, I cried at the third one,” Lauryn laughed. Nicole shoved her.

“Don’t scare him!” she scolded. Lauryn shoved her back, sending her hurtling towards the pavement. Loki snatched her back up by the back of her jacket, saving her from a bloody nose. She grinned at him; he just stared back at her. Lauryn and Nicole dragged him into the theatre.

* * *

“We’re having dinner here,” Lauryn said, motioning to the pub they were standing outside. She held the door open, but Loki took it from her, ushering them both inside ahead of him. Lauryn waved them over to the bar and sat them both down on either side of her.

“Do they serve food?” Nicole teased. Lauryn shoved her off her stool.

“Just for that,” Lauryn growled playfully, “you’re getting fish.”

Nicole clutched dramatically at her chest and slid down between the two stools.

* * *

“Stage performances,” Nicole explained, dragging them to their seats, “are like movies, but live. And wicked rad.”

“They are neat,” Lauryn agreed. Loki awkwardly crossed his legs in his seat before he gave up and spread his knees apart. Nicole shoved at him as the lights lowered and the show began.

* * *

“It’s called a nightclub!” Lauryn shouted over the music. Loki, wide-eyed and white-skinned, stared at the crowd around him with something akin to fear. Nicole jumped on Lauryn’s back and screeched.

* * *

“Sorry to have to bring you home so early,” Nicole apologized as she and Lauryn snapped their bracelets together and typed in the code for the location in Asgard that Thor had given them.

“It has been an eventful day and night,” Loki assured her.

“Glad you had fun,” Lauryn said as they fizzed out of, then back into, existence. Nicole grinned at the sky when they arrived in Asgard. Lauryn smiled at Thor instead of at the sky.

“Did he cause much trouble?” Thor inquired. Lauryn and Nicole both shook their heads.

“He was an absolute dear,” Lauryn assured him, even as Jane eyed Loki suspiciously. Darcy looked moments away from launching herself at Loki and handcuffing himself to a light pole. “We’d love to watch him again, if you need.”

“I am not an infant,” Loki mumbled. Lauryn and Nicole each kissed one of his cheeks at the same time. Loki bit back a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on Twitter at [@nicoIodeon](https://twitter.com/nicoIodeon) or on Tumblr at [andillwriteyouatragedy](http://andillwriteyouatragedy.tumblr.com/).


End file.
